So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
