She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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