I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
