we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
