new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
