Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
