yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
