Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm like, not good at living.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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