At least make sure they are 18
Why
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
