Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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