thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
