Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
