I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
