I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
