Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i would punch a child for taco bell
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
