Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
