I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
