he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
