Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
