"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
