is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
