He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
