spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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