she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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