ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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