apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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