you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
