never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
im having a threesome with these popsicles
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
