Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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