This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you didnt know i had herpes?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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