is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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