I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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