Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
