on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
