my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
