she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
