another moral hangover. fuck.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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