I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
