dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Randomize
