at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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