so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
