That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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