Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I am spending my child support on dildos
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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