I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
