i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
