My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
