Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My feet surprised me
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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