Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
