he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
