I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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